Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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