I'm lost and stupid without you.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
