You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize