Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
