Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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