If i come over, it means nothing
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
