its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
