Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
