on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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