is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
