the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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