if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
