Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
