It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
