just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
