We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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