Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
