The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
