I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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