Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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