All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize