shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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