smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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