He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
