I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As shirtless as possible
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize