after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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