you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
