WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
