It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
