Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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