Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
