This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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