It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Two words: nipple clamps
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