I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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