Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize