: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Houston, we have a blender
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
