I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
