Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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