just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
