there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize