its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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