Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
