Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
