"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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