you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
