I wanna bring you to show and tell
I could make wine with my vomit
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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