at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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