At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
