Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
