Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
