everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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