You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
