her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
