She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize