apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
