They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
