I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
