I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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