I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
