I don't usually arrange sex via text message
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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