I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
