I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
