Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
