I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
