Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
