ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize