he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
