dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
