we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize