nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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