Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...

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(516): View more from New York

You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?

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(315): View more from New York

so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

(315): View more from New York

here comes the puke

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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(517): View more from Michigan

She just said, "are my livers going to die?"

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(425): View more from Washington

Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced

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(559): View more from California

Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?

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