I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
