I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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