I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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