Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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