she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
