You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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